This morning a thunderstorm moved through. It began quietly, but the retriever can hear the thunder long before I can and was curled up in my lap not long after the sprinkles started. We passed a few minutes of silence while I read and he watched the weather through the window. Then, the storm rolled over and the thunder was audible and lightning visible, even to me. The retriever started to shake and cry, and the magazine was laid aside as I tried to calm the pup. There is no explaining thunder to a retriever. He continued to shiver as the storm staked out a place over the house to drop a few electric pronouncements. Soon, 80 lbs of dog had shifted from my lap to my left shoulder, his haunches in the crook of my left arm and his trembly middle wedged up against my ear.
At this point, I closed my eyes and rested my head against his side. Despite his nerves, he's a comfortable dog, like a warm furry pillow when the storms curb his restless flopping. I could see the Christmas tree over his back and I was reminded of what I had been thinking about yesterday. We don't have kids (except for the dogs) and we are both several decades away from the rickety Christmas movies projected in an elementary school cafeteria that really helped to draw in the mystery of the holidays. The clicking of the filmstrip and the fact that every class was allowed to sit together, the cold linoleum under us, as we watched angels searching for the what they could give for Christmas. How, I wondered, could I understand or even begin to ponder that miracle now? What is the access point for holding that wonder again in my heart? It was then that I understood the meaning of the filmstrip--I could not so much as ponder as welcome the miracle in. As a child it was easy to give up myself to the season, the joy and mystery and wonder. I didn't need to be told how to do it or even told that I should do it. I didn't need to be told that you can't ponder or hope to contain something like the Christmas story. Not unlike the trembling retriever, the joy of the season is something that you must support by giving yourself to it.
It's difficult to remember, when you are used to having to control your own schedule and expected to learn and continue to process things, that some things must be stepped into and experienced in order for you to understand them. You don't so much understand them as they take you, your heart or your time or your soul, and allow you to be part of them.
I missed Christmas this year--never let it in while I let myself stress about other things. Even now, I feel the tidal pull of New Year's goals and next year's planning catching at me. Today, however, I'm going to sit down and watch the lights on the Christmas tree and curl up with my puppies.
Merry Christmas.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Anger and Expectations
I'm going to pause for a moment in my continuing search for the elusive spirit of the holidays to remark on a situation that I'm currently involved in. Recently, I (and others) were presented with a new set of standards for an organization of which we are a part. These standards were decided by a group of persons who have little day-to-day contact with the organization and less communication with the individual members of the organization. The new standards are the equivalent of a face-lift, they change nothing fundamental but re-conture familiar territory. The one fundamental change that was made happened to be negative. No additional positive changes were made or mentioned.
I am greatly disappointed in this particular decision-making session. It has made me aware that everything that I do, whether it be stopping by a particular shop for breakfast, becoming a member of an organization, or forwarding an e-mail marks against my character. I didn't acquit myself well when presented with this particular issue. In fact, I took out my frustration on a minor point that added insult to injury. That this response was prompted by the knowledge that I knew better than to have expectations for fair treatment or consideration does me no credit. It does, however, give me a resolution for 2008: That I will think about the values and commitments that I hold and that I will have the courage to act accordingly, providing I have the wisdom to act at all.
I am greatly disappointed in this particular decision-making session. It has made me aware that everything that I do, whether it be stopping by a particular shop for breakfast, becoming a member of an organization, or forwarding an e-mail marks against my character. I didn't acquit myself well when presented with this particular issue. In fact, I took out my frustration on a minor point that added insult to injury. That this response was prompted by the knowledge that I knew better than to have expectations for fair treatment or consideration does me no credit. It does, however, give me a resolution for 2008: That I will think about the values and commitments that I hold and that I will have the courage to act accordingly, providing I have the wisdom to act at all.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Flattened by the Retreiver
Having recently divested myself of 70+ pounds of golden retriever sprawled across my lap while precariously balancing in the a chair in the office, I can finally reach the keyboard. I think the retriever was trying to get up so that he could paw James until he got a response, but that didn't work. I am the only one whom the dogs get away with walking (or climbing) all over, so pawing James in the middle of Sunday afternoon TextTwist just gets us both in trouble.
I'm sure a nap is in the offing for the retriever (if we are ever blessed with another one, I'm going to name it Suburban Sprawl), but I am trying to work my way back into the good graces of my spouse so that we can finish putting up the Christmas tree.
We did get to look at lights last night, which was fun and inspiring. So many of our neighbors go to great lengths to decorate their houses and lawns in honor of the season. I have to say that the Bethlehem cutout display was impressive (wise men, shepherds, and the Holy Family all cut out of white board and then lit with red and green spots). It was simple display, but reverent in a way that some of the more Vegas displays are not. Another family put an entire neighborhood on their front lawn, surrounding a church in which the nativity was represented.
My favorite lights are the LEDs, with their cool lights that efface themselves into the night, leaving the outlines and glow intact. We still haven't put up our lights, but we're working on the Christmas decorations in the house. This year the season has crept up on us in dribs and drabs, with less of the insistence of, say, a retriever trying to crawl into the lap. Hopefully, we will find the effort to meet the season halfway.
I'm sure a nap is in the offing for the retriever (if we are ever blessed with another one, I'm going to name it Suburban Sprawl), but I am trying to work my way back into the good graces of my spouse so that we can finish putting up the Christmas tree.
We did get to look at lights last night, which was fun and inspiring. So many of our neighbors go to great lengths to decorate their houses and lawns in honor of the season. I have to say that the Bethlehem cutout display was impressive (wise men, shepherds, and the Holy Family all cut out of white board and then lit with red and green spots). It was simple display, but reverent in a way that some of the more Vegas displays are not. Another family put an entire neighborhood on their front lawn, surrounding a church in which the nativity was represented.
My favorite lights are the LEDs, with their cool lights that efface themselves into the night, leaving the outlines and glow intact. We still haven't put up our lights, but we're working on the Christmas decorations in the house. This year the season has crept up on us in dribs and drabs, with less of the insistence of, say, a retriever trying to crawl into the lap. Hopefully, we will find the effort to meet the season halfway.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Christmas Lights and Reflections
We're going to look at Christmas lights this weekend! And it's going to be cold enough to stop for hot chocolate!! This is my favorite part of the holiday season. We're late on getting our lights up and the house decorated but I did manage to finish some of my wrapping today. I'm waiting for the little Elves of the Christmas Spirit to creep out of the woodwork and run around the house spreading joy and merriment and inspiration to get stuff done. In particular, I'd like the laundry elf to hurry up and spread some cheer...I'm putting off the last minute dash to the store for the last of the presents and supplies and enjoying my early Christmas present -- the new desk that James put together with better grace than I usually do anything.
As the year folds up toward the holidays, I realize that I'm becoming better and better at tossing plans into the new year. It's the handiest basket for things such as "work on your latest short story" and "make a monthly submission plan for existing pieces." This year was such a productive year in terms of working on things in the writer's group that next year should be the year that I start putting a toe in the water in terms of gathering rejection slips. This year, I made a few online submissions, but those rarely come with rejection slips. Instead, they fall into the giant hole of received and ignored e-mail. At least a rejection slip puts a period onto the hope that maybe this time...but no.
This is new territory for me, because it's only recently that publication has come to seem like a goal. Although I've been writing on and off for years, for me, there was so much ground to cover (and still needing to be covered) encompassing learning how to flesh out a story arc, learning how to tell the story instead of describing the image of the story, etc., that this is still a learning process.
As the new year skates closer and I'm driving around in the dark looking at houses outlined for the season, I'm going to be letting the wonder recharge the batteries that fuel my creativity and thinking about how to flesh out the outlines I have in my mind into structures that can also withstand the light of day.
Best wishes,
Chrissa
As the year folds up toward the holidays, I realize that I'm becoming better and better at tossing plans into the new year. It's the handiest basket for things such as "work on your latest short story" and "make a monthly submission plan for existing pieces." This year was such a productive year in terms of working on things in the writer's group that next year should be the year that I start putting a toe in the water in terms of gathering rejection slips. This year, I made a few online submissions, but those rarely come with rejection slips. Instead, they fall into the giant hole of received and ignored e-mail. At least a rejection slip puts a period onto the hope that maybe this time...but no.
This is new territory for me, because it's only recently that publication has come to seem like a goal. Although I've been writing on and off for years, for me, there was so much ground to cover (and still needing to be covered) encompassing learning how to flesh out a story arc, learning how to tell the story instead of describing the image of the story, etc., that this is still a learning process.
As the new year skates closer and I'm driving around in the dark looking at houses outlined for the season, I'm going to be letting the wonder recharge the batteries that fuel my creativity and thinking about how to flesh out the outlines I have in my mind into structures that can also withstand the light of day.
Best wishes,
Chrissa
Monday, December 10, 2007
Stalled in the Front Lane
Where is the cool weather? There are rumors of cooler weather on the way and lots of grey clouds and drizzly bits of rain--so far, though, not so much actual coolness. At least the grey weather makes all the Christmas decorations really pop on the way to work, so I arrive at work full of Christmas anticipation. Yea!!
I think this will be our weekend to put lights up and I can't wait to see whether the net lights we are trying for the first time this year work on the bushes that have taken over the side of the house. One of these days I expect one of them to slip a ransom note in my hand--Install that underground watering system if you ever want to see your house number again, bwa ha ha. Love, the photinas.--but so far they've just continued to sprout upward.
Since I'm in here nattering on the blog, the retriever is eating. He only eats when someone is in the room with him or if he is stuck in the room by himself for an extended period of time. If you walk by the gate, he will run up dribbling kibble. Blech. It's much easier to let him eat on "his" schedule while updating blog entries. Unless you have not much to say, which is pretty much today's theme.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go cheer on the cool front.
I think this will be our weekend to put lights up and I can't wait to see whether the net lights we are trying for the first time this year work on the bushes that have taken over the side of the house. One of these days I expect one of them to slip a ransom note in my hand--Install that underground watering system if you ever want to see your house number again, bwa ha ha. Love, the photinas.--but so far they've just continued to sprout upward.
Since I'm in here nattering on the blog, the retriever is eating. He only eats when someone is in the room with him or if he is stuck in the room by himself for an extended period of time. If you walk by the gate, he will run up dribbling kibble. Blech. It's much easier to let him eat on "his" schedule while updating blog entries. Unless you have not much to say, which is pretty much today's theme.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go cheer on the cool front.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
The Things You Read
Recently, as it was a grey day in December, I found myself wanting to read a mystery novel. I have several that I like, but I had just finished On the Road, and I wanted something different but engaging enough to distract me from what I'd just read. The mystery part is important--I didn't want to just veg in front of a book, I wanted something that would be entertaining but also require my attention.
Having heard of a new author who likes several of the same mystery authors that I do, I picked up a book and brought it home. And then read it. I'm sorry to say it wasn't very good. The main character was engaging enough, but the mystery was thin and the detective was an amalgam of stock characters from Victorian melodrama, casually updated with a drug problem for today's "sophisticated" readers of romantic fiction.
Why is everything about romance these days? Why can't publishers clearly label their works? If I had been in the mood for romance, I would have visited that section. It seems that lately I've been on the fringe of several discussions of the danger present in books with certain points of view, but I haven't yet participated in a discussion of the dangers of romantic fiction infiltrating other genres. Danger? Surely this is an exageration. But no, I don't think so. Romantic fiction is characterized in many instances by repetitve and thin plots and sensationalism. Repetitive, simple plots are inimical to many genres because they disallow for depth of character or action. Sensationalism feeds into today's mania for inciting fear, lust, or anger in people to motivate or sell ideas by the basest of instincts. When this type of book becomes ascendant, it becomes more difficult to sell or find books that engage readers with their ideas or imaginations.
Substituting romantic fiction and its conventions for other genre conventions is one more step toward substituting the simple for the complex, the formulaic for the imaginative. In my opinion, its a similar attitude to making a blockbuster movie in which deeper significance is so absent that the movie itself is little more than the icon on the bathroom door. Enter here for violence. Enter here for romance.
This wouldn't be an issue, since most movies are clearly labeled in terms of content and well-reviewed; however, it's becoming difficult in the bookstore to distinguish between an interesting new novel and a romance novel masquerading as a fantasy, science fiction, or mystery novel. With a limited amount of time and a limited budget, one comes to depend more and more on the recommendations of friends and hopes that the tide will turn back again to a different type of storytelling. Unfortunately, with the rise of sensationalism and its attendant fear of different ideas, it may take some time.
Having heard of a new author who likes several of the same mystery authors that I do, I picked up a book and brought it home. And then read it. I'm sorry to say it wasn't very good. The main character was engaging enough, but the mystery was thin and the detective was an amalgam of stock characters from Victorian melodrama, casually updated with a drug problem for today's "sophisticated" readers of romantic fiction.
Why is everything about romance these days? Why can't publishers clearly label their works? If I had been in the mood for romance, I would have visited that section. It seems that lately I've been on the fringe of several discussions of the danger present in books with certain points of view, but I haven't yet participated in a discussion of the dangers of romantic fiction infiltrating other genres. Danger? Surely this is an exageration. But no, I don't think so. Romantic fiction is characterized in many instances by repetitve and thin plots and sensationalism. Repetitive, simple plots are inimical to many genres because they disallow for depth of character or action. Sensationalism feeds into today's mania for inciting fear, lust, or anger in people to motivate or sell ideas by the basest of instincts. When this type of book becomes ascendant, it becomes more difficult to sell or find books that engage readers with their ideas or imaginations.
Substituting romantic fiction and its conventions for other genre conventions is one more step toward substituting the simple for the complex, the formulaic for the imaginative. In my opinion, its a similar attitude to making a blockbuster movie in which deeper significance is so absent that the movie itself is little more than the icon on the bathroom door. Enter here for violence. Enter here for romance.
This wouldn't be an issue, since most movies are clearly labeled in terms of content and well-reviewed; however, it's becoming difficult in the bookstore to distinguish between an interesting new novel and a romance novel masquerading as a fantasy, science fiction, or mystery novel. With a limited amount of time and a limited budget, one comes to depend more and more on the recommendations of friends and hopes that the tide will turn back again to a different type of storytelling. Unfortunately, with the rise of sensationalism and its attendant fear of different ideas, it may take some time.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Goals for 2008
Not that I have any yet, but it's that time of year. We're going to be doing monthly goals in the writing group, so I need to come up with some good ones. I'm thinking achievable, like "I will make at least one blog post this month." While I'm weighing what I'd like to pick back up in the coming year, I'm looking forward to the cooler weather as a chance to get back into a regular schedule of working in the yard and going to the park, since those activities tend to keep me in a more imaginative frame of mind.
Today, however, I was feeling sore (too much Christmas shopping?) and spent part of the afternoon contemplating database organization from the couch. The retriever decided that contemplation looked like snoozing, despite the books balanced everywhere, and kept bringing me his latest stuffed chewie. He brings it over whenever he thinks I'm upset or in pain (growling about the database apparently qualifies) and then puts his head on the pillow or couch and stares at me. If I still seem out of sorts, he tries to stuff the chewie under the pillow or drop it on my face. I try to lay out of reach when I'm both sleepy and feeling under the weather. Even if I'm not big on chewing on stuffed critters when I'm down, it's amazing to me that the retriever understands the concept of sharing. I'll take it as a hopeful sign.
Today, however, I was feeling sore (too much Christmas shopping?) and spent part of the afternoon contemplating database organization from the couch. The retriever decided that contemplation looked like snoozing, despite the books balanced everywhere, and kept bringing me his latest stuffed chewie. He brings it over whenever he thinks I'm upset or in pain (growling about the database apparently qualifies) and then puts his head on the pillow or couch and stares at me. If I still seem out of sorts, he tries to stuff the chewie under the pillow or drop it on my face. I try to lay out of reach when I'm both sleepy and feeling under the weather. Even if I'm not big on chewing on stuffed critters when I'm down, it's amazing to me that the retriever understands the concept of sharing. I'll take it as a hopeful sign.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Ready, Set, Restart!!
Well, it was another successful NaNo month! The draft of the novel is complete and ready to go into hibernation until next year's NaNoEdMo. I was thinking of resurrecting last year's novel for EdMo, but I'm thinking about picking that up over the holidays. James is going to be working on his NaNo this month, since he spent large chunks of last month picking up my slack in getting reading for Thanksgiving. :)
Having everyone down for Thanksgiving was a blast & we really enjoyed seeing everyone. It's a shame the weather didn't really cooperate for anything for the rest of the weekend, but at least it was a cozy "winter-type" weekend. The fried turkey was excellent (thanks, Jerry!!) and was just as good on my traditional "end-of-turkey" nachos as it was on the day of. The only thing that we had too much of this year were the chipotle sweet potatoes, which turned out to be a little hotter than everyone was expecting.
It was the start of the holiday season that started me thinking about restarting this blog with a different purpose, or multiple purposes.
First of all, the writing has been going well this year, but it needs continued work. I bounce between I'd-really-like-to-publish-something and have-patience-improve-your-technique. Being in a writer's group is an excellent way to stretch and get better, but I have to remember to not borrow other people's ambitions or lack thereof for my own.
Second, I've been really bad at keeping in touch over the last several years. We probably don't need to go into all the reasons why, but the reasons were never very good in the first place. We are latecomers to the blogosphere, and it still feels weird to me to hold a oneway conversation/journal entry with an unknown number of friends, family, and complete strangers. It helps to know that number is probably "0".
There is no third reason. I'm looking forward to having a place to post A Baron's Own Adventure Stories, based on the life and snoozy times of our golden retriever. More fun than it sounds & everyone could use a good nap.
So, ready, set, & restart!! Welcome to Chrissa & James' updated Nemographia.
Best wishes,
Chrissa
Having everyone down for Thanksgiving was a blast & we really enjoyed seeing everyone. It's a shame the weather didn't really cooperate for anything for the rest of the weekend, but at least it was a cozy "winter-type" weekend. The fried turkey was excellent (thanks, Jerry!!) and was just as good on my traditional "end-of-turkey" nachos as it was on the day of. The only thing that we had too much of this year were the chipotle sweet potatoes, which turned out to be a little hotter than everyone was expecting.
It was the start of the holiday season that started me thinking about restarting this blog with a different purpose, or multiple purposes.
First of all, the writing has been going well this year, but it needs continued work. I bounce between I'd-really-like-to-publish-something and have-patience-improve-your-technique. Being in a writer's group is an excellent way to stretch and get better, but I have to remember to not borrow other people's ambitions or lack thereof for my own.
Second, I've been really bad at keeping in touch over the last several years. We probably don't need to go into all the reasons why, but the reasons were never very good in the first place. We are latecomers to the blogosphere, and it still feels weird to me to hold a oneway conversation/journal entry with an unknown number of friends, family, and complete strangers. It helps to know that number is probably "0".
There is no third reason. I'm looking forward to having a place to post A Baron's Own Adventure Stories, based on the life and snoozy times of our golden retriever. More fun than it sounds & everyone could use a good nap.
So, ready, set, & restart!! Welcome to Chrissa & James' updated Nemographia.
Best wishes,
Chrissa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)